Not sure what books to read this year? Tired of Oprah telling you what constitutes a good book? Have no fear! The young punk who started Facebook (and therefore ruined your life when your thirteen-year-old daughter’s account got hacked by one of her friends, who then went on to tell the entire school she likes Dylan) has decided to read a book every two weeks for the entirety of 2015.

Before you get impressed, this is the same man whose previous New Year’s resolutions included only eating animals he’d killed himself. That one’s not all the weird (says the hunter writing this post), except unless I’m wrong, he doesn’t live on a farm.

We all know that the pukes who run PR departments for all kinds of companies have convinced themselves that we’ll buy anything as long as a Kardashian has been photographed in public wearing it (and sadly, they’re right), but is the literary crowd really going to fall for this? Are we really going to read books just because the richest man in the world who still isn’t old enough to run for President told us to?

Of course. The first book the Zuckster decided to read this year sold out on Amazon in less than five hours.

You’re immediately wondering how you can get your book on Zucker’s desk. Stop wasting brain cells on that one, you can’t.

What you can do, though, is ride the coattails of glory with your own writing. What are people responding to? What kinds of books get attention from the readers, and also which ones did people say, “Meh. Not for me.” While you should stick to your writing muse and write the books that you have in you, there’s also nothing wrong with doing some research and learning what trends hold readers’ interest.